Bushwalking adventure, teapot lids, flowers.

The above is my favourite song at the moment. Lovely drawing music.

Saturday: Hardcore bushwalking / beginner canyoning. The place was Deep Pass. I was SOOOOO glad I had made the jump to real boots, this was the time I definitely needed them. Splashing through shallow creeks. My feet stayed dry!

Sunday: I stayed home, half of the group went to church. I did a few drawings, read Messy Ministries book, rested. This is our house and view behind it 5 min walk away.

We did sparkler photos on Sunday night, we did the spelling thing on our first Aus day weekend, and this posing thing was our own idea. This was just to use up the last 3 sparklers, and turned out to be an ALMOST awesome trial run. If we had another packet of sparklers to get it right it would have been the best thing you have ever seen. Youth group game potential for sure.

Monday: didn't get much done other than eating, packing, and driving. But tried out Josephan’s new Gingerbread themed cafe in a church building in Katoomba. It has a GOOOOOD hot chocolate. Had a really smooth drive home.

Other highlights: it was lovely that my youngest sister joined. And we had the best sleep in ages. Proper cool nights after hard exercise and some emotional weeks, we both commented how refreshed we felt.

Sadly, on Friday night, I broke the lid of my new teapot. It was a gift from Maitland Alive shower girls. I put it in the bin then changed my mind and spent the week carefully glueing it back together.

I promptly broke the lid of my infuser tea mug at work today. But it's only in 2 clean pieces.

I bought myself these straw flowers! I took a mini bunch of them to work. The main bunch at home. I didn't realise that they are really thirsty flowers though so in one day 3 inches of water disappeared and some of them got droopy heads. So I pulled those ones out and hung them upside down to dry out, because that's the second life for straw flowers, they dry and then you have a bunch of dry flowers.

Having my own place. Buying my own flowers.

This is a bit of a jelssie post, or sort of comparing to many of my jelssie-days ideals. The things I've been pondering.

It's taken a while to appreciate all the lifestyle change of leaving Sydney. I have this frugal minimalist thing of having only as much as I need. Now I have more (space) than I need, but I have been able to share it. And I've needed to share and therefor had to get more things. This is mainly due to in Sydney I did stuff out, and in Maitland we do stuff in our houses. Out is too expensive and In is no longer prohibited by tiny spaces. In Randwick I sometimes had people sleep over before flights or after late nights, on either a fold-up stretcher or a makeshift bed of sofa cushions, on either my bedroom floor or in the living room. I sometimes had one person over for dinner. I've had more people in my house in just a few months than I probably had in my entire time in Sydney. Which is great. So I'm trying not to mind getting more stuff.

I decided to celebrate my anti-frugal-minimalism by buying a table. I've been looking in op shops, and sticking my name on old tables at my grandparents, but I decided to go all out and do what other people do, which is, go to a shop, look at a bunch of different brand new tables, and buy one.

http://www.1825interiors.com.au/products/dining/dining-tables/tuscan-small-extension-table/

I like the white/wood combo look because my current furniture is a mix of some painted white and some wood, (and temporarily some cardboard boxes and some pallets) so I think this will tie it together a bit. I'm not buying any chairs at this stage, I've got a bunch of mismatched chairs (white and wood) and some IKEA stools. Also it's an extension table. So it's still a pretty efficient, minimalist decision, but hey, I bought something brand new! When I get it I might dismantle my cardboard box and plank desk and use the table as a drawing desk... but the cardboard and plank desk is cool. 

My house has a pretty good vibe. Shower girls commented on it and that made me appreciate that it does feel like home now. I've got bohemian arty Girl of Slender Means things like my photo wall, and paintings not hung up leaning against walls, and my cardboard and plank desk, but I've also got lots of clean empty space, windows that I can see out of, my bedroom no longer has so much stuff in it because 2 pieces of furniture can fit in other rooms where they really belong anyway, so it just has my bed, dresser, and bedside table. I have the luxury of a spare room in which to throw everything I don't want to think about. There are things I'd change one day, in 5 years, 10 years, God-willing, like the white tiled floors that show all the hair, and the beige walls that I'd prefer were green. But everything is new and clean so I can't justify the investment at this stage, I will just anticipate. But in the meantime I don't care about wear and tear on things, because I'm not attached to the beige and the tiles, so that's also good.

My thing for 2015, if I get my job, will be a garden. Currently a rectangle of lawn with 2 small flower beds, 2 different coloured colourbond fences, an airconditioning unit, and a washing line. I've got a vision for a gardeny courtyard, and I'll pay some landscapers to make it happen.

I've been away a lot in Jan. I've been able to take advantage of cheaper petrol in Sydney every single weekend. Which is to say, I'm not very excited to be thinking about the long weekend and another drive. But easy weekend once I'm there. I think I'll stay home in February! I'm really trying to get my life balanced again. I'm going to restart Jillian, eat red meat regularly, and things like that. Go swimming sometime.

Contentment

A facebook friend who openly struggles with being single and having no children made a really helpful facebook post.

Why are some people content with life and with themselves when others aren't?

How is contentment fulfilled?

How do you know when a person is content?

I was so excited that she was thinking on that level. There were lots of comments with the sort of general things that people say.

…if your looking for contentment outside yourself then you'll never find it. . Its like love. . No one will love you untill you love yourself.

...being hapy with what you have,. 

These just don't resonate with me at all. I mean they are true to some extent, but they are about the end result, not the tangible things that you do that set you apart and change how you feel. For me, it's been deliberately recognising traps for discontentment and taking action. So I made 2 comments.

Such a good question. I count my blessings, like family, having a safe place to live, a job. I plan fun things to look forward to instead of assuming other people are having all the fun. I think of it as positive selfishness, or at least self care. Then I don't pity myself as much, and am more content. I get discontent when I feel left out or left behind. Hope that is practical.

I buy myself flowers. This sums up everything.

So discontentment for me is tied into FOMO, fear of missing out. Flowers are a good example. I could keep being gloomy that nobody every bought me flowers on Valentines Day, or I can analyse that. Guess what: It doesn't mean I can't have flowers. I can buy myself flowers whenever I want (and I do). I can be given flowers by my friends (and I have). I can buy flowers for others (and I have). I do THOSE things, and then the one thing that I feel self-pity about once a year has a lot less power. I'm not missing out on the flowers.

It looks a little bit indulgent I suppose to buy myself flowers, but at $5-15 per bunch every few weeks it costs me less than a coffee habit, and also why is it more wasteful or superfluous for me to buy myself flowers than if your husband buys you flowers? Romantic flowers are no more necessary than self-care flowers. That's great that other people have wedding anniversaries they celebrate with flowers. I have things in my life that I want to celebrate. Another thing, if you're married and you wish your husband bought you flowers but he's not into that stuff, you can also buy yourself flowers. We feel like society has a rule that flowers are a thing that go from men to women, but actually there is no rule.

Big week, funeral, shan dong chicken.

Last week church hosted/ran Maitland Alive, with dozens of young people from Sydney CCC churches running kids programs. They sleep at the school, which has no showers, so I hosted a bunch of them each night for showers except Wednesday (when they go out for showers and dinner with other people). 35 showers total, to usually 6 people each night at 2 timeslots although sometimes some others, and it was nice to get to know them. I know how tiring mission is and you just want to go to bed, so I tried to make showers not a tiring ordeal and make it nice for them to unwind, so I baked cookies on the Sunday before for them, and while they waited for their turns we watched If You Are The One and played with Percy. It was great. I was given tea and a teapot and 2 seasons of friends at the end of the week as a thankyou. 

I had taken Friday off to play piano at MA, which ended up being when I melted down in tears and spent the morning on my bed instead. For some reason I stuck with my plan to have a productive day anyway, and went to 1825 and ordered a table, went to Spotlight and chose curtains for my room, went to church office and spent some time helping K with Elvanto, then went to parents and borrowed their drill and some chips, then went home and put up the curtain rod and curtain, and washed dozens of tea towels from MA. See tea towels and curtains in picture below.

On Saturday I was pretty tired and still teary so I stayed at home all day, and achieved a small amount of tidying up, I cleared off a stubborn clutter zone. And washed and ironed some table linen for MA. This is my drawing desk in action at some point.

On Sunday I went to church in the morning, quickly went home and ate and packed, picked up Julia, and we drove to Goulburn.

Monday was Granny's funeral. It went smoothly, it was another day of crying and getting tired. It was also cold and bleak. You could use the word "bitter". I felt the need to have a hot chocolate at the Paragon before I left, which mum and dad and Julia also partook of.

Julia and I left at 4.30 and she drove us to the airport, then I met Anna and we had Shan Dong chicken at Kingsford Chinese. All the garlic. Golden Tower is gone! And I couldn't find Albie's Kitchen. Typical Kingsford. You think you know where something is and either it's on a different block or it's closed down. Then I drove home in slight rain but at least the traffic was minimal and it was an easy drive and I wasn't too tired after dinner. I ate lollies and blasted the radio.

January continued.

Here is a photo of my vision mixing station at Summer School.

I control what goes on the big screens. I do about half the night sessions, which is as much as I can manage, energy wise. I used to do every night and it smashed me, because the night sessions are pretty complicated and theres a rehearsal as well before dinner so it's a lot of going back and forth and being wired. But every second night is good. I don't really enjoy it anymore though. But I guess it was a not super enjoyable Summer School for other reasons. I find that if I'm cruising energy-wise, I love Summer School, but if I'm a little bit below neutral, if I'm a bit tired or a bit whatever, SS drags me down. Although I was blessed every day. Seeing old friends and having quick but encouraging conversations. I had lunch in Leura with Anna which I was hanging out for, catching up with her properly. I also bought some gifts for friends, just thankyou presents for those who looked after Percy and things like that.

We have some very friendly bird neighbours, and we are a parrot-loving house (two of us own parrots).

On Friday mum and us kids went to Goulburn (via Sydney to collect Percy) instead of home, to visit Granny who just went into palliative care. On Saturday morning I went for a walk around Goulburn a bit, Goulburn is lovely for walking, lots of footpaths and trees. Took some photos of things I'd like to have in my future garden.

Then we went to the nursing home. She looked comfortable, although she couldn't interact, but it was pretty emotional. I cry the most. Either I'm super raw these days or maybe it's my Myers-Briggs type or something. Some other family were also there, Auntie and cousin and his wife, and we had lunch at the Paragon cafe, before driving home. Granny died on Monday night.

I'm at work, people are making sure I have my job application in because that closes on Sunday, and thankfully I have done. Don't have time this week.

There's a new guy in my office, he knew about Percy so he brought in a sunflower. I love how people want to suck up to this bird. Percy has a puffy eyelid so is going to the vet.

There is a mission team at Maitland doing the annual kids club and mission, Maitland Alive, they are all from Sydney, and I'm hosting some girls for showers each night. Which is really nice. 4 come at 7.30 and 2 come at 9.30. I made cookies on the weekend so they can have a cup of tea and a bit of a rest while they wait for each other. And we play with Percy or watch TV, such as If You Are The One, for maybe an hour. Mission is tiring so I wanted to be able to give them a bit of an escape from the school each night.

So that's my life at the moment, very full. I bought myself some flowers on Sunday :) Just $5 carnations from woolies but pretty. I enjoyed reading The Blue Castle which George posted to me when she heard I hadn't read it, which was SOOOO thoughtful and a perfect thing to escape into. I'm also rather loving my Daily Drawing. I sit quietly and labour over a detailed little drawing of something whimsical as suggested by Facebook friends. And then I post it on Facebook, and I also enjoy that others 'like' and comment their appreciation, not so much for the compliments on my talent, but just that it makes me feel like I'm doing something other people are enjoying and interacting with. I built a desk to draw on, out of cardboard boxes I kept from moving house, and 2 planks of wood from a bookshelf I dismantled in Sydney. Getting a real table is right at the top of my to do list. I might even buy a new one!

New year, Summer School part 1.

Snatching a quiet break at summer school to refuel my introvert. I will post this delayed by a week so I can add all my lovely photos more easily.

I followed my lovely Christmas with a really lovely new year. On the in between weekend Matt and Caroline came and visited me, and hung out with my family and JK, it was quite relaxing. We also went to newcastle to swim, eat $10 pizza and 2for1 movenpick ice cream. My replacement washing machine was delivered at 7am on New Year's Eve which was a yay.

George came and stayed on New Year's Eve and E + L stayed with JK so we had a picnic at Nobbys and then watched the 9pm fireworks. It was soooo easy. I used to find coogee fireworks a pretty relaxed event because I lived so close, but take away 2/3 of the crowd and it's easier again! No jostling for spots. Afterwards we feasted at JKs house watching sbs pop Asia and a pink concert, until the fireworks at midnight on TV.

George, JK and I went for a swim on the first day of the year. That is a bit of a tradition for me. The beach WAS crowded. And hot. The water was perfect temperature but pretty rough.

In the evening I had organised a group to see Big Hero 6, and about ten people came, after which most came over to my house to eat sausages JK bought and all the salad stuff I needed to eat up before I went away. I think that's the most people I've done dinner for anywhere I've lived. I didn't even have that many plates until now, I still don't have enough chairs or any table. But I'm getting there.

So overall, simple things and friends made me very happy as I started the year. I started my daily drawing project and it's pretty cool.

I bought myself a fancy baking dish in the sales, using a gift voucher. Took it to Summer School.

I was going to write a 2014 review blogpost but eh. We all know I had a big year. I didn't tell many people this but I even got "asked out for coffee" a few months ago. I'll say more about that later, if there ever is anything more to say, but for now it's nothing but the end of my serenity, which I miss. I will keep learning the cello. I got my job application in before new year, so that's on the boil and I guess will be sorted in the next month and a bit. I also started reading the bible at genesis 1.

So now I'm at summer school, it's Sunday, the start of the week, and actually pretty exhausted and flat again. Physical stuff and emotional stuff too much right now. I skipped the missionary session so that I could have some time to myself in the house, because there are lots of us staying in it so you have to plan well if you want a cup of tea and a book in seclusion.

Here are photos from the bush walk I did with Alison, which we did really fast and was exhausting (wrecked me for the start of the week) but worth it. We got a good look at a red belly on the path.